The first day of school is right around the corner. As with many rites-of-passage, The First Day of School brings many emotions to the household table. The more parents and caregivers do to prepare for the experience ahead of time, the better the child will do on that momentous day.
Tips For a Smooth (& Fun) Back-to-School Start
For some children, the first day of school is truly exciting, and they have nothing but positive feelings about their new teacher, classes, and the chance to reconnect with peers. For other children, this day is a dreaded event, bringing all of their fears, insecurities, and anxiety to the table. Then, the middle group struggles to hold big feelings on both ends.
As a parent and caregiver, there are plenty of things you can do to help your child(ren) enjoy a stress-free and fun first day of school.
Don’t Forget to Check In With Yourself First
How do you feel about your kids’ first days of school?
Are you nervous? Sad? Worried? Celebratory to have the house back to yourself? Dreading the back-to-school swirl of activities and calendar commitments? Looking forward to (or not) connecting again with the parent peers?
Recognizing and managing your own feelings is always a good place to start. With your feelings in balance, you’ll be able to listen to your children openly, reflecting what you hear and empathizing with their emotions.
1. Check In With How They’re Feeling (and Then Wait Patiently)
Ask children how they’re doing and give them space to share. Check-in with your children on how they feel about school this next year. If they aren’t able to give you an answer, you can ask things like:
- Are you nervous?
- What makes you excited?
- Does anything make you feel afraid?
- What do you think will be different about this year than last year?
For those starting preschool or kindergarten for the first time, ask what they think it will be like.
We recommend checking in with each child separately, so nobody feels pressured or influenced to feel a certain way. Leave lots of quiet space so they have a chance to answer independently and express their own feelings.
If your child is worried, you don’t have to fix it. Just repeat back and reflect what you’ve heard. “I hear that you’re really nervous about making new friends. I understand it can be uncomfortable meeting new people. It takes time to get to know them.” Then, ask how you can support them or if they need anything from you. Normalizing their feelings can also help your child feel less alone and ease their worries if they’re feeling nervous.
2. Don’t Overhype or Make Promises You Can’t Control
It’s easy to start talking things up: “You’re going to looooove school. It’s so much fun. I promise you’re going to make so many new friends.”
Think about those statements and then reflect back to each year of your school life. Kindergarten, first grade, second grade, and so on. Were those statements all true for you? Every year? Many kids don’t have that experience. Some years are better than others.
For example, sometimes children don’t meet their “best fit” friends in their classroom, leading to feelings of isolation. Most children have one or two good friends, rather than “so many friends,” and that’s easier to manage. Some school subjects are harder, posing a challenge. Children who are entering school for the first time might feel worried about being away from their parents or caregivers.
Keeping expectations realistic and manageable is usually the best way to create a soft landing for children in any situation. This is also where establishing open communication with your kids can come into play. Let them know that whatever bumps may come up, you’ll be there to help them talk through it and problem-solve.
3. Resync Schedules the Week Before School Starts
Summertime schedules are typically more flexible than school-year schedules. Children stay up later, are allowed to have more screen time than normal, and so on. Transitions are hard for most of us, so we recommend using the week or two before school to resync the schedules.
Re-establish the weekday routine, including bedtimes, wake times, meal times, and screen time, for a smoother start back to school.
4. Keep a Clear Calendar for the First Week or Two
We recommend keeping a free calendar for that first week or two of school if possible. This gives your family plenty of time to unwind after tiring days. Instead of making plans with friends on the weekend, make a date to get outside and hike, bike, swim, or simply enjoy time in nature.
5. Explore the School (and Routes) Ahead of Time
If your child is new to the school arena or they’ll be starting at a new school, try to get on campus ahead of time. Take advantage of any school tours, orientations, or opportunities the school has to visit them. Contact the office and explain you’d like your child to get acquainted with the campus. They’ll let you know the best times to pop by, and your child may even get to peek into their new classroom or see a picture of their new teacher. Heading to the school playground on the weekends is another option. Familiarity helps to breed comfort.
6. Insert Extra Fun Along the Way
Starting back to school adds pressure, and seeking joy and fun is the best way to release that. Look for extra ways to spark fun and joy in your family’s life:
- Draw a picture or write a daily riddle/joke and add it to their lunchbox.
- Surprise them with a favorite snack you don’t usually let them have.
- Host a spontaneous dance party before bedtime one night.
- Build in extra time for bedtime snuggles and wind-downs.
- Plan to share one funny thing about each person’s day at the dinner table.
- Have everyone in the family write a reasonable request for a weekend activity and put it in a jar. Draw one per week for however many weeks they last and honor them.
Keeping fun in the mix gives children something to look forward to.
PANW Hopes Your Child’s First Day is Stress-Free & Fun
Pediatric Associates of the Northwest hopes your family has a fun and stress-free re-entry to the school year. Do you have any school or sports-related forms to fill out and submit? Contact us to schedule your child’s well check appointment and get your sports clearance forms filled out.
